Limbo

Well.

I don't know what to say.

And that's the problem.

I was quite sad to realize I hadn't posted a new post on my blog in months.

To be honest, gentle reader, I've been very depressed lately. For reasons outside my control, my home life has become a grey, shadowy, dull existence. My house is like living on the Solaris space station, a giant empty dead place. And quite frankly that kills the creativity. I haven't felt like writing or doing anything creative for months. In the past, no matter how bad things got, that was my one joy. I could make something wonderful, even if no one else saw it, and take pleasure in that. Like hiding a precious gem in a gulag. But now even that is gone. The ember died in my pocket and I have no way to relight it.

I created this blog as an outlet for my writing a couple years ago. Mainly in the beginning it was a place to hide, to get away from 'real life' and a hateful relationship and be creative. I was also going through some serious grief issues at the time, dealing with the passing of someone very dear to me. I had no outlet for this in RL, so I put it out on the Internet. It's amazing how powerful anonymity is. I could share so much with absolute strangers that I couldn't with people around me.

So I'm not really sure where I'm going to go from here. I might reorganize this site or I might start something new. Part of me also wants to just hang it up. To give up on being Thousand Sons completely and stop blogging and writing all together. I really just don't know.

Who knows? Maybe something wonderful will happen soon. Maybe the creative logjam will break and I'll feel silly for even writing this.

But knowing how life usually goes for me, I'm not counting on it.

We'll have to see...