Farewell, Farewell
"...she said to him before he went: 'This is our last parting, Estel, my son. I am aged by care, even as one of the lesser Men; and now it draws near I cannot face the darkness of our time that gathers upon Middle-earth. I shall leave soon.'
Aragorn tried to comfort her, saying: 'Yet there may be a light beyond the darkness; and if so, I would have you see it and be glad.'
But she answered only with this linnod:
'Onen i-Estel Edain, รบ-chebin estel amin.'
"and Aragorn went away heavy of heart. Gilraen died before the next spring."
Dear Gentle Readers,
My mother, one of my best friends and silent reader of my works, passed away recently. It was unexpected and I never imagined I'd be where I am now, dealing with the cruel realities of Death.
I didn't know what to say about it here. My heart was broken. I went back and read what I wrote on my Limbo post. About wanting to give it all up. Stop writing, stop blogging, delete this blog and become a "What ever happened to...?"
Then I found this email from my Mom tonight about my Limbo post. Telling me what I needed to hear, what I already knew...
"Dear [TS], I read your latest entry on 1000 Sons and I'm at a loss for words. I hope you don't decide to just give it up.
I was going to write a comment on your blog, but I didn't really want to send all this out to the world. I so love to read what you write, whether it's fiction or real life.
And I'm so sorry things are in such a mess right now. It's such a cliche, I know, but hang in there. I know I'm not the only one who enjoys your writings. As someone who has had some experience with sucky situations, it can and usually does get better. Think of some of the times that you felt like it was just hopeless and things couldn't get worse, and how things got better and changed. (I was tempted to say "and things couldn't get worse, and then they did".....cause I could hear it going through your mind. We really are such smart asses. aren't we?)
But seriously, I would hate to see you give this up. Hell, remember when you were #1 on google search for the dog story? That doesn't happen to people who write crappy. And remember what we always say.....choose happiness. And God says (or maybe it was some biblical figure) "This too shall pass." It really is true.
Anyway, know that I will always love you and no matter what you decide, I will always support you in your decisions. Maybe this means that you're looking to open another door......OK, I know, enough with the cliches.....but there has to be some truth in them, or they wouldn't still be hanging around for me to use. So let me know what you decide.....ILYHAND.......I love you always.....and miss you muchly. Love, Mom"
Thanks Mom, for giving me some perspective.
I wont give up. I'll keep going.
"One Step at a Time" like you always said.
I'm sorry I didn't update my blog when you could have read it.
I love you always, and miss you muchly too.
ILYHAND.
"Farewell, farewell to you who would hear
You lonely travellers all
The cold north wind will blow again
The winding road does call..."
posted by Thousand Sons at 12:06 AM
1 Comments:
Hi, TS; Lady of Shalott here. I wanted to send this to you directly. It's from my sister Vivian's friend Jane, sharing an experience her mother had had on the day of my sister's funeral.
Hugs, Beverly Gail
"i never told you about an experience my elderly mother had on the afternoon of vivian's funeral. she lives in birmingham, alabama and on that day was awakened unexpectedly at 2pm during the middle of her afternoon nap. she told me that she felt strongly compelled to get up and go to the living room window. as crazy and odd as it seemed to her, she followed her instinct. standing at the window, she heard my father 's voice (he died in 2000) talking to vivian, welcoming her to the "homeland." mother was equally shocked and shaken when she glimpsed a clematis bud, which she and dad planted together many years ago, slowly unfolding into a beautiful blossom. she was stunned. she looked at her clock and it showed 2pm. she knew vivian's funeral was occurring simultaneously in nashville, with me -- her grieving daughter -- in the congregation. she almost wept, but rather she closed her eyes and smiled. she said to my father, "thank you sweetheart for greeting vivian." and to vivian, she said, "darling, you are in good hands right now" meaning my dad's. mom called me later in the evening to tell me about her experience which she said only i would understand. yes, i am the "woo woo" family member!
sorry i never shared it with you until now. mom has very recently taken her own turn of deterioration in health and i have been assisting in getting her good care and moving her to a retirement home run by her church. she has now had and shared with me her more "spiritual happenings," which her traditional religion doesn't have room for (!), and i have been privileged to witness her transformation. it's never too late ... more will be revealed, eh?
love, jane"
All the best, and do hang in there. --Lady
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