Revelation
What an abortion tonight has been.
It started out well...then went straight to hell in a matter of moments.
But out of stubborn pride I went out anyway.
Loud dance club, rhythmic music, bodies swaying.
I stood there taking the whole spectacle in.
Nobody saw me.
I have that talent.
I felt the Blazing Fury welling up within.
These goddam happy dancing people were infuriating me.
But that is avoiding the true horror.
It came to me...out there on the dance floor.
Amidst the noise and the chaos.
Its not these people that I hate...or even her.
It's me.
It's always been me.
Don't you know by now that nature abhors a vacuum?
"For when it comes right down to it
there's no use trying to pretend
For when it gets right down to it
there's no one really left to blame
Blame it on me,
you can blame it on me.
We're just sugar mice in the rain..."
*Update: Just so you know: Now that I'm sober, I don't really hate myself. I just dislike myself...sometimes.
It started out well...then went straight to hell in a matter of moments.
But out of stubborn pride I went out anyway.
Loud dance club, rhythmic music, bodies swaying.
I stood there taking the whole spectacle in.
Nobody saw me.
I have that talent.
I felt the Blazing Fury welling up within.
These goddam happy dancing people were infuriating me.
But that is avoiding the true horror.
It came to me...out there on the dance floor.
Amidst the noise and the chaos.
Its not these people that I hate...or even her.
It's me.
It's always been me.
Don't you know by now that nature abhors a vacuum?
"For when it comes right down to it
there's no use trying to pretend
For when it gets right down to it
there's no one really left to blame
Blame it on me,
you can blame it on me.
We're just sugar mice in the rain..."
*Update: Just so you know: Now that I'm sober, I don't really hate myself. I just dislike myself...sometimes.
posted by Thousand Sons at 2:53 AM
4 Comments:
okay first of all it is supposed to be a thousand 'suns' and it was a description of a nuclear bomb .... but it was a quote from the Bhagvad gita (much older than nuclear weapons.....) sorry, I just had to comment.... it was bothering me... and I am finding that I am too well read in some areas and not well read enough in others... that damn education... will someone please pay for it... please!!!
Kellyne
Ahhh...my dearest Kellyne! Methinks someone hasn't delved into the archives yet! :) Some suggested reading: http://1000sons.blogspot.com/2004/08/oh-whats-in-name.html and will be made clear.
Its funny you should mention the Bhagvad Gita though. There is also a reference to 'thousand sons' in it as well:
"The story of Ganga's coming from heaven to earth is a famous mythological tale. Sagar, a legendary king of Ayodhya had no children. He performed long and arduous penances worshipping Shiva as a result of which he was promised the birth of sixty thousand children.
"Sagar did get these sons and when they grew up king Sagar resolved to perform the ASHVAMEDH YAGYA (a ritual of proclaiming oneself unbeatable). Indra the lord of heavens was alarmed and feared that Sagar would become very strong and dethrone him."
"Indra descended to the earth and stealthily carried away the horse, which he placed in PATAL (the subterranean region) just near the famous sage Kapil, who was sitting there in deep meditation. The sixty thousand sons of Sagar, after searching that horse on the whole of earth, dug a hole and reached patal. There they found the horse standing near a sage who was sitting with eyes closed in meditation. They thought that he was the thief and began beating the sage Kapil, who awoke at this and in anger reduced all the princes to ashes." (Now THATS blazing fury, baby! -TS)
"The wandering sage Narada informed Sagar about the fate of his sixty thousand sons. King Sagar prayed to sage Kapil for relief, and was advised that if he could somehow bring the goddess Ganga from heavens on the earth and if the ashes were washed with her water, their salvation would come. Sagar gave the throne to the one surviving son of his and went to forest for prayers but perished in his efforts. So also his son, who too sacrificed his life as a penance after giving throne to his son (Sagar's great grand-son), named Dalip."
Good to hear it, Dave Ray! Good to have you back, mate! :)
Actually, I did read that... I just liked what I said better... and no matter what you say I am going to think of the Gita and Nuclear weapons.... because I have read the Gita and Nuclear weapons seemed to be talked of much where we grew up.... go figure
I would like to see you online again....
Kellyne
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