Bumbershoot

Greetings programs!

This is Thousand Sons with a retrospective of the 2005 Bumbershoot Music and Arts Festival in lovely Seattle!



Wow, what an experience. This year I sprang for the 4 day pass, and let me tell you, it was worth it.

Bumbershoot, for those of you outside of Seattle, is our Labor Day weekend festival running Friday thru Monday. Its hard to believe, but Bumbershoot has been going on for 35 years now. Its older than me! Sheesh! There is always big name acts, but for me its the bands I've never heard of that really draw me.

I've been going off and on for a few years now. Its always been that final hurrah of the summer for me.

I had a lot more pictures to share with you but my camera, frankly, sucks. About half of them didnt turn out. Note to self: Never by another camera/printer bundle. You'll end up getting screwed on at least half the deal. I got some pictures with my phone on Friday, you can see those here: 1000sons/Bumbershoot There are limits to the quality of camera phones too, unfortunately. Next year I'm buying a dozen disposable cameras. Or maybe just one decent camera. >:(



Day One: Friday

Whoo hooo! The first day of Bumbershoot! Got my straw fedora, hawaiian shirt, and backpack ready to go! What will the weekend hold? I cant wait to find out!

Cuchata
Afro-Latin stylings from Cuchata! What a way to start the weekend!

MangoSon
Salsa and meringue music. Gotta jump up and dance!

Altered States of Funk
Local funkmeisters, Altered States of Funk laid down some stone grooves, man. There was a serious moment when lead singer Winfield Ezell Jr. took time out to acknowledge the tragedy in New Orleans in a freestyle spoken word jam.



You gotta take time out of your day to frolic in the International Fountain! When I was a kid, this thing looked more like a hateful sea urchin. Sharp metal water jets, jagged rock surrounding it, it was no place to play. A few years back they completely redesigned it, making it more friendly.

Dudley Manlove Quartet
Popular (and unpopular) music with a lounge feel! They were a lot of fun. They performed Xanadu, people! Xanadu! How can you not love that?!

Maktub
Seattles premier rock/funk/soul band! They have a unique sound that will blow your mind. Their guitarist Thaddeus Turner tore it up with a blistering tribute to Jimi Hendrix. More about him in a moment...

Garbage
Shirley Manson and the boys. She wore bright pink nylons under her dress that were visible from space. They rocked so hard! They played one of my favorites of theirs 'When I Grow Up'. Love that song. I'll let you know if I ever do.

On a more serious note: Everyones hearts went out to the victims of Hurricane Katrina too. There were dozens of places to donate all throughout the Seattle Center. I had a weird epiphany sitting by the fountain. I looked around at all the throngs of people and thought 'Just imagine if all these people weren't here for a festival, but had to live here." It was a chilling thought. Sorry, back to the fun...

Day Two: Saturday

The Fading Collection
Dark wave meets electronica. Beautiful, ethereal vocals by Sarah and Tavia.



Africa Yaya Diallo
West African soukous guitar music. You cant sit still listening to this!



Harvey Danger
Maybe best known for their big hit 'Flagpole Sitta', Harvey Danger still makes intelligent and fun music. A special treat for music nerds: Robyn Hitchcock joined them for a rendition of his song 'Viva! Sea-Tac'!

"Viva! Seattle Tacoma, viva viva Sea-Tac!
Viva viva viva viva viva Sea-Tac!
They've got the best computers and coffee and smack!"


Digable Planets
The old school becomes the new school again! Digable Planets put us in a trance with their own unique hip-hop stylings! Thaddeus Turner of Maktub and his brother Tugboat showed up to play with the Planets at their show. Incidently they both play with another local favorite of mine, the 206 Ribshack BBQ Orchestra. But thats another story...

Day Three: Sunday



The Pharcyde
Man, hip hop doesnt get much better than Pharcyde in my book. 'Labcabincalifornia' is still one of my favorite albums. They were the highlight of my day.

Talib Kweili
One of the finest writers in hip-hop today. Music that really makes you think. I love it. Hip hop isnt all about Cristal, bling, and hoes, yo.


Took some time out to watch the Polynesian Dancers perform. Who doesnt love a good hula?

Common
More Jazz-rap from my man, Common. He's probably best know right now for his collaboration with Kanye West "Be".


Marlena Shaw
Whoo! This blues lady gots attitude! And style! Full of soul.


"The bluest skies I've ever seen are in Seattle!" Except when it rains. There's a reason why they named this festival after an umbrella. Late afternoon the rain started coming down. Me and my friend huddled under a awning and planned our next move. "Do we want to stay and see Elvis Costello?" "Meh. I hear he wont play his old stuff anymore." "Me, I vote we walk to the car while is daylight and raining, instead of pitch black, cold and raining." So we sounded the retreat. There comes a point of saturation, when your clothes can get any wetter and you cant hate rain anymore. A cosmic moment. I jumped in a few puddles on the way to the car, just like a kid.

Day Four: Monday
Its been a looooong weekend. I'm exhausted.

The Decemberists
My new favorite find of 2005! Folk rock stylings that remind me of Fairport Convention.They sing songs about poverty, maritime disasters, and 15th century potentates! Fun!

Dashboard Confessional
Kinda of a punk/folk thing. With an edge. I want to search out more of their stuff.

The Be Good Tanyas
Blue grass trio, very 'O Brother Where Art Thou'. Laying out on the grass, listening to folksy music, drinking up the sunshine, and staring up a the Space Needle. Just what the doctor ordered after such a long weekend.

Highway 99
All-starsLunchtime! Nothing like some greasy fair food and rhythm and blues to wash it down!



Arturo Rodriguez Quartet
Beautiful latin jazz from local artist, Arturo Rodriguez.

And just like that, its over. Four days of safari though the landscape of music. We leave the Seattle Center, our adopted home for a weekend, and head back to the real world. I put up my straw hat until next summer. I sleep heavy that night, worn out from our expedition, and I dream. Dream of a world of endless possibilities and varieties of music.

And I wait impatiently for next year...

MIB FAQ

In case any of my readers not familiar with Discarded Lies are saying 'WTF??", a brief explanation:

The story revolves around Thousand Sons 'The Man In Black', a fictional character (very loosley) based on myself. Other posters from DL find their way into the story at times too.

'Fred' is the nickname of a thread on DL that grew to immense size took on an evil life of its own.

Rene the Baker, Jimmy the Bartender, and Streck are characters that have been kicking around in stories of my for a long time. Thought it would be fun to bring them into the mix too!

'Sojourner', however, is a very real person.

And Sojo, if you're reading this, I haven't given up the 'good fight'! Thanks for your support! ;-)

The Return of the Man In Black Pt IV

A small tropical island in the South China Sea. Early evening.

The Inquisitor Essington Streck strides up the road to the villa.

He had landed his ship in a clearing in the jungle nearby.

His robes rustled as he strode the dusty road, his senses were ready for action.

The villa seemed devoid of life, no activity could be seen, nor people.

Except one.

In the main plaza stood a man in a black suit bearing a sword.

The smoke from his cigarette drifted lazily in the warm breeze. Streck closed the distance between the two of them.

He nodded in greeting. "Thousand Sons."

The man in black took a drag off his cigarette and tossed it away. "Streck."

"You should not have come here, Thousand Sons. My business is with the revenant only."

"I have my own reasons for being here, Streck."

Streck unsheathed his power blade.

"Step aside, Thousand Sons. The Inquisition will have the head of your patron. His very presence taints this world."

"I don’t disagree with you on that, Streck." he said unsheathing the Thread-Killer blade. It hummed with joy, ready to strike.

"Then you will step aside?"

"No."

The two faced off like gunfighters in the Old West.

"Where is The Baker, Streck?"

Streck frowned. "The Baker? He is quiescent at the moment."

"No, he is not." replied the man in black. "He was reactivated days ago by Imperial agents."

"I don’t know what you are playing at, but I'm quite sure he is inactive."

"You're wrong. He is here somewhere, I can feel it."

Fred strolled leisurely out on the balcony overlooking the plaza.

"Ahhh, Inquisitor Streck! How nice to see you! I see you're making acquaintance with my friend, Thousand Sons."

The two continued to stare each other down, not taking their eyes of each other.

"We've met before." Streck said shortly.

"Well, the gangs all here I see! Just in time, I have a few old friends that want to join the party!"

Fred clapped his hands twice and a legion of zombies shambled their way into the courtyard, surrounding Streck and Thousand Sons.

"What is this, Fred?" asked the man in black, coldly.

"Old friends of yours, Thousand Sons. Remember my minions you dispatched before? When you came to kill me? They are here to say hello again!" Fred laughed.

"A setup." said Thousand Sons flatly.

"Oh my yes! Did you really think I could pass up an opportunity to be rid of two foes at once? My dear Mr. Sons, I believe you are slipping in your old age!"

Fred claps his hands.

"Minions! Deal with them; I'll be down shortly to watch the festivities!"

The zombies began shambling forward.

The two adversaries, once intent on dueling to the death, now spun about and stood back to back.

Streck put up his power sword and produced a large silver mace from his cloak. It crackled with unknown power. "This is a holy weapon. Its merest touch will bring death to the deathless."The man in black nodded. "This is Thread-Killer blade. It too will extinguish these mockeries of life."

"Together then?" asked Streck.

"Together." nodded the man in black. "We can always kill each other later."

Streck grinned wickedly. "Indeed."

The zombies charged and the battle began in earnest.

"In the Emperors name!" bellowed Streck. When his mace touched a zombie it burst into silver flame, consuming it wholly.

"Dang! I need a catchy battle cry too someday!" yelled the man in black.

Thread-Killer blade howled with glee, dispatching zombie after zombie.

"There is too many of them!" cried Thousand Sons.

"Courage, warrior! We shall prevail!" boomed Streck.

Fred strolled out across the plaza with a beautiful woman in tow.

"Come along, Sojourner! Time we were leaving!"

Sojourner caught sight of the man in the black suit.

She cried out "Thousand Sons!"

Over the clamorous din of the battle he heard her voice. "Sojourner!"

Streck saw Fred. "The revenant!" he cried. "He is the key to all this!" he yelled. "Destroy him and this will all end!"Thousand Sons nodded grimly and began wading his way through the zombies like a scythe through wheat toward Fred.

The blazing fury gripped him and he saw nothing but his prey.

"Fred!" he growled.

He got within a meter of Fred before being disarmed by a rush of zombies.

Thread Killer blade clattered to the ground, growling impotent anger.

"Bring him to me, my minions!"

The zombies hurled the man in black to the ground before Fred who blurred into his female form.

"So! The mighty Thousand Sons!" she crowed. "What a pity your story ends here, my old friend."

The man in black stood up and dusted himself off, glaring intently at Fred.

"What will you do now, man in black?" she crooned. "Where is your deadly blade, O Thousand Sons?"

She laughed with great mirth.

She leaned close in and patted his cheek. "Goodbye, Mr. Sons."

Across the courtyard Streck called out in a great voice. "Thousand Sons! Catch!"

With a mighty arm he threw his mace in the air, toward the trio.

It spun slowly through the air in a long arc...and sailed right past Thousand Sons, landing with a great clatter.

The zombies flooded over Streck like the tide, obscuring him from sight.

The man in black stared agape at the mace lying harmlessly on the ground, just out of reach.

Fred laughed outrageously.

"Oh this is just too much! Too have come so far and fail at the last. Ha ha!"

She wiped a tear of merriment from her eye. "Oh, I haven’t laughed this hard in ages."

"Goodbye again, Mr. Sons! I think this will be our final farewell."

"Yes it will." said Sojourner behind him, holding the mace.

Unnoticed and forgotten in the confusion she had picked up the holy weapon!

Fred reverted to his male form, the man in the cream colored suit.

He held his hands up in panic.

"Now, Sojourner, don’t be hasty..."

Sojourner grinned wickedly. "This is for keeping me on this island against my will!"

WHACK! She struck Fred in the arm with the mace, its power crackling.

The zombies faltered for a moment.

"OWWWW! Hey!!" Fred whined.

"This is for double crossing Thousand Sons!"

WHACK! She struck Fred a second time, disrupting his magic protection.

The zombies began to panic, shambling aimlessly.

She bore down on Fred, a look of determination in her eye.

"Baby! Baby, we can work this out, I know!" cowered Fred.

"And this! This is because I always get the last word! HA!"

WHACK! She struck Fred a third and final time.

He howled like a banshee and all his magics were broken!

The zombies began to crumble, falling into dust. Fred began to crumble too."All my plans are ruined! Ruined! Who ever thought a woman like you could destroy my beautiful wickedness? What a world..! What a woooorld....."

He collapsed in a pile of ashes.

Streck began dusting himself off and walked over to the two. "Excellent work, Madame. May I have my mace back now?" he asked smiling.

"Oh! Oh, of course." said Sojourner, handing the mace over.

Streck returned it to the folds of his cloak.

"Now, Thousand Sons." he said. "Or should I say 'What now?"

Thousand Sons took a cigarette from his case.

He lit it slowly and took a long drag.

"Well. I guess that depends." he exhaled.

Streck nodded. "Yes. The revenant Fred was my primary target, but you, you are another matter."

Thousand Sons began moving to his Blade, but was brought up short by Streck's blaster.

He shrugged and took another drag of his cigarette.

"You see, I know about you. I've read your file. You are a traitor to the Imperium!You abandoned your squad and ran to this planet!"

Sojourner looked on bemused by this conversation. She hoped answers would be forthcoming.

"I didn’t abandon anything." replied Thousand Sons quietly. "I was asked to leave Imperial service."

"By whom?" asked Streck skeptically. "Who would have the authority to do such a thing, if it were possible?"

"I could tell you, but you wouldn’t believe me."

Streck glares, waiting.

Thousand Sons sighs. "The Emperor."

"I don’t believe you."

"There!" grinned Thousand Sons. "What did I tell you?"

"Now is not the time for your usual flip comments!" Streck boomed. "Why?"

"Earth was a non-aligned world." explained Thousand Sons. "I was sent here long ago to scout it out, in secret. I made my report directly to the Emperor. He was so shocked by what I'd found he immediately signed the Non Interference Treaty and made this system off limits to Imperial interference. All record of my being here was expunged. It was made to look as if I'd deserted the Legion and perished in the Fringe Worlds. Of course, rumors of my existence kept popping up here and there. Being a cross temporal entity has its advantages...and disadvantages."

Streck shook his head. "This is all nonsense. How could even the Emperor cover this up? The Inquisition would already know this..."

"The Inquisition is not all-knowing!" countered the man in black. "There are secrets in this universe that even your Order is not privy to."

Streck frowned. "I have served the Inquisition my entire life. I am privy to secrets that would drive you into howling madness. I have seen horrors that would make men run screaming into the night. What did you find here that was so alarming to the Empire?"

"I could tell you...but then it wouldn’t be a secret anymore would it?" replied the man in black, smiling. "It wouldn’t do you any good anyway, because you'd never understand. The very fact that you know this much makes you a marked man, Streck."

Streck straightened his posture and pondered for a moment. "I will report that the revenant threat has been neutralized. I will also report that Thousand Sons is no threat to the Imperium. It will bear the seal of the Inquisition. None would dare question it. But you must promise me something in return: You must never return to Imperial Space. It would be too dangerous...for both of us."

The man in black nodded. "All right. I promise. I haven't been back in years anyway."

The two clasped hands roughly.

"You fought well, Inquisitor Streck. It was an honor to fight by your side!"

"And yours as well, Thousand Sons. It seems you've learned a thing or two since last we met!"

"When was that? The Fomalhaut Campaign or Orion?"

"Orion, I think."

"That was you? I thought so! But why did the...."

"Would someone please explain what the hell is going on here?!"

The two were startled by the outburst.

"Oh! Sojourner! Sorry, this is Inquisitor Streck..."

Streck makes a formal bow.

"I gathered that." she replied witheringly. "So when were you going to tell me you were from outer space?!"

"Oh...well...um..."

Just then a shot rang out in the air of the courtyard.

A thin man in a skintight black jumpsuit strode into view.

"Ah, very touching non? Like two old friends now, eh?"

"Damn! I forgot about The Baker!" said Thousand Sons, edging toward his sword again.

The thin man shot the pavement in front of Thousand Sons, bringing him up short.

"Ah ah! None of that. You'll have to do without your blade, m’sieur."

Thousand Sons lights a cigarette, staring down his opponent.

Thread Killer blade grumbled on the ground.

Rene the Baker stood smiling in front of the man in black, his gun leveled at him.

The man in black took a long drag and smiled. "I don’t need my blade for everything, Baker." he said and flicked his lit cigarette viciously at the Baker's face.

Rene instinctively flinched and the man in black whipped his left hand out, disarming the assassin.

The two began a vicious hand-to-hand brawl, using all their martial arts prowess.

In the end it was experience that won the day. Experience that the man in black had before Rene was even born. He quickly subdued his would-be assassin.

Rene knelt panting on the ground. "You...you seem to be quite skilled, M’sieur Mils Fille. End this."

Thousand Sons smoothed out his suit jacket.

"No. I may be many things, but I'm not a murderer."

"End it! I've waited for this moment!" cried Rene. "I've done terrible things as an assassin, m’sieur, in the name of the Empire! I don’t want to live with them!"

"I can help you with that, my friend." said Streck.

Streck produced a small device from his belt pouch. A Strobe but more advanced than Thousand Sons had seen before.

"Standard Inquisition issue. With this I can erase your prior assassin programming, permanently, and remove all memory of this event."

The Strobe began to flash before Rene's eyes.

Rene wept. "Thank you, m’sieur! Bless you!" he said as he fell asleep.

"Shhh." Streck said gently. "Dream, my friend. Dream of baguettes and cakes and pastries. Dream...and tomorrow your dream will be true once again."

He picked up Rene in his arms.

"I'll take him back home. He won’t remember a thing tomorrow."

"So that’s what they mean when they say 'The Inquisition leaves no witnesses!"

Streck gave an enigmatic grin. "Sometimes, Mr. Sons. Sometimes."

The man in black arched his eyebrow at this and said nothing.

"And now I must take my leave of you. Goodbye Thousand Sons. Goodbye Sojourner. Be well!"
Streck walked down the road to his ship, carrying the unconscious former assassin over his shoulder.

Thousand Sons let out a sigh of relief.

"Well! I'm glad that’s over with...OWWWW!"

Sojourner smacked Thousand Sons in the arm!

"What was that for?!" he asked with exasperation.

"Outer space?!" she glared at him.

"Um...heh...yeah. It’s a long story."

"I have time." she said levelly.

"Yeah. I guess we both do now. We also have this whole island, the mansion and its servants all to ourselves! I could use a vacation."

"Don’t change the subject."

He gave a sheepish look. "My story is pretty long. It might take...years...to tell it all."

"Well you need to start somewhere, don’t you?" she winked. "How about 'how old you are', Mr. Sons?"

"There are times, my dear Sojourner, that I feel like the oldest man in the universe."

"And now?"

"Now? Today I feel...young again." he smiled.

Sojourner looked wistfully at the pile of ash on the ground. "Y'know, it’s funny. I kind of miss Fred now."

Thousand Sons puts an arm around her shoulders.

"I know. Me too. But I have the feeling he wont be gone forever." he says enigmatically.

He looks up at the stars sadly.

"Penny for your thoughts, TS?" Sojourner asks.

"There's something I need to do. Something I should have done a long time ago..."

-------------------Epilogue the first.
A small boulangerie somewhere in France, the next day.

Rene has finished the morning baking and opens his shop for business.

Although he had the strangest dreams last night, he feels incredibly rested.

The bell on the front door rings merrily and the first customer of the day enters.

A large heavy set man with a grey beard.

"Bon jour, mon ami! What can I do for you today?" asked Rene cheerfully.

"Two loaves of your rustic bread. And a sticky bun."

"Certainly! Will that be all?"

"Yes, wrap it well. I have a long journey ahead of me."

As the man was paying, Rene got a strange feeling. "Have we met before, m’sieur? I have the oddest feeling of..."

"Deja vu? Oh, I'm certain it’s nothing. We've never met before."

"Hmmm. So you say you have a long journey?” asked Rene, making small talk while wrapping the baked goods. “What are you doing when you get there?"

The large mans eyes misted over for a moment. "Painting."

"Oh, m’sieur, how wonderful!" Rene clapped. "What type of painting? Portraits? Still life?"

The large man shrugged. "Landscapes mostly."

"What are you painting today, m’sieur?" asked Rene as he rung up the sale.

The large man paid and gathered his packages.

He smiled broadly.

"Cherry blossoms." he replied and walked out of the store.

Rene puzzled for a moment.

"How odd. Where can one find cherry blossoms this time of year?" he wondered.

--------------------------Epilogue the second.

Deneb IV, somewhere within Imperial Space, several weeks later.

A lonely wind whispers through the trees.

The first moon is near its apex, the second moon is just rising.

This is the cemetery world of The Legion, the armored defenders of the Empire.

The headstones stand as tall and proud as the warriors did in life.

Tonight a man is breaking a promise to a new found friend for reasons of his own.

A man dressed in black suit makes his way to the monument in the middle of the grounds.

He is carrying a large bundle of tropical flowers from his adopted planet.

Before him stands a memorial to the fallen; a larger than life statue of a Legionnaire resplendent in his armor, his hand reaching to the sky.

The man in black places the flowers at the feet of the statue and salutes.

He sits down at the base, leaning back against the marble, savoring its coolness.

The wind picks up slightly.

He looks out at the ranks of headstones and lights a cigarette.

"Hello, boys." he says softly. "It’s been a long time."

-fin-

The Return of the Man In Black Pt.III

Earth, the present day.

A small bar somewhere in Hong Kong. The evening’s patrons are being treated to some good, old fashioned jazz. The band leader addresses the crowd.

"Thank you, thank you! You're a wonderful audience. Now, I don't usually do this...but we have a friend here tonight. Maybe with the proper encouragement we can get him up here for a song. Mr. Sons, would you come up here and grace us with your crooning?"

All eyes turn to the bar where a tall man in a black suit is enjoying a drink.

He's startled at the applause from the crowd. He feigns embarrassment.

"Now, Tommy, you know I can't sing." he says waving it off.

"Oh nonsense, sir!" replies the band leader. "Come on up here!"

The crowd cheers and begins pounding the tables rhythmically.

"Man-in-black, man-in-black!" they cheer.

The man shoots an accusatory look at the bartender. "This is your doing isn't it, Jimmy?"

Jimmy the bartender is all innocence. "Who me?" he grins.

"Sigh. All right, all right." He places his sword on the bar.

"You stay right there," he says to it. "And don't get into any trouble."

You could swear the sword began whistling a tuneless tune.

"Hmph. Smartass." he mutters.

He walks up the stage, grasping the old fashioned mike.

A brief consultation with the band, they all nod and smile. They know this song well.


The man in black addresses the crowd. "Thank you, ladies and gentlemen. Here's an oldie but a goodie. Its one of my favorites...And a one and a two..."

"Oh, the shark, babe, has such teeth, dear
And it shows them pearly white
Just a jackknife has old MacHeath, babe
And he keeps it … ah … out of sight."

"Ya know when that shark bites, with his teeth, babe
Scarlet billows start to spread
Fancy gloves, though, wears old MacHeath, babe
So there’s nevah, nevah a trace of red."

"Now on the sidewalk … uuh, huh … whoo … sunny mornin’ … uuh, huh
Lies a body just oozin' life … eeek!
And someone’s sneakin' ‘round the corner
Could that someone be Mack the Knife?"

"A-there's a tugboat … huh, huh, huh … down by the river don’tcha know
Where a cement bag’s just a'droopin' on down
Oh, that cement is just, it's there for the weight, dear
Five'll get ya ten old Macky’s back in town."

"Now, d'ja hear ‘bout Louie Miller? He disappeared, babe
After drawin' out all his hard-earned cash
And now MacHeath spends just like a sailor
Could it be our boy's done somethin' rash?"

"Now … Jenny Diver … ho, ho … yeah … Sukey Tawdry
Ooh … Miss Lotte Lenya and old Lucy Brown
Oh, the line forms on the right, babe
Now that Macky’s back in town."

"Aah … I said Jenny Diver … whoa … Sukey Tawdry
Look out to Miss Lotte Lenya and old Lucy Brown
Yes, that line forms on the right, babe
Now that Macky’s...back in toooooown …!"

"Look out … old Macky is back!! "

The crowd cheers and applauds. The man in black bows with a florish.

He walks back to the bar and his drink. There is a man there nattily dressed in a cream colored suit with an orange tie, wearing a cream colored panama hat.

"Bravo, Thousand Sons! Bravo! Will you be doing an encore?" he asks.

The man in black sips his drink, not looking. "Hello, Fred."

"I suppose you want to know how I found you?" Fred asks.

"A six foot tall man in a black suit carrying a sword can't be all that hard to find in Hong Kong, Fred." the man replies flatly.

"Touché. Dry as a martini, Thousand Sons. As always." says Fred, smiling.

The man pulls an ornate cigarette case from his jacket. He takes one for himself and offers another. "Smoke?"

"Got my own, thanks." replies the man in black, lighting one up.

The sword on the bar glows and grumbles.

"Hello, Thread-Killer blade. How are you?" asks Fred.

The sword profoundly ignores him.

Fred turns to Thousand Sons.

"So, I suppose you want to know why I'm here."

"Nope." replies the man in black without looking. "By the way, I thought you were a woman.

Fred shrugs. "I can assume different forms at will."

He shimmers for a moment and in his place a ravishing beauty appears wearing a light cream colored dress with an orange sash tied at the waist.

"Is this more pleasing to you?" she croons.

"Not really." the man in black replies with great indifference.

She leans in. "Look, I know you don’t like me..."

"'Hate' is the word that springs to my mind, Fred."

"Indeed. But I'm here because I need your help. And you need mine."

The man takes a drag, exhales. "Really? How amusing."

"Dammit, man! Listen!" she exlaims angrily. "Certain things have been brought to my attention! I know that the Empire has activated a sleeper assassin via Strobe! He's on his way here!"

This piqued the mans interest. "Hmph. Who? The Butcher, the Baker, or the Candle-stick Maker?"

"The Baker, blast it! The Frenchman!"

"That’s too bad." shrugged Mr. Sons. "Rene was always a better baker than he ever was an assassin. Why tell me?"

"There's more." she leans in and whispers. "I've found out through my off world contacts that an Inquisitor is coming to Earth."

The man crushes his cigarette out angrily.

"Bullshit. They wouldn't dare. Non-interference treaty, remember?"

"The Inquisition makes their own rules, Mr. Sons. You know that."

"Do you know who it is?"

"Streck."

The man sips his drink. "Streck, eh? That’s a problem. Who's his target?"

"Me, you idiot! I'm a zombie, remember?!"

"Ahh, yes. Good luck with that."

"I need your help!" she cries.

"Not my problem."

"I can pay you!"

"Don't need your money, Fred."

"Will you do it...for Sojourner?"

The mans hand creeps to his sword. "What have you done?" he asks flatly.

"Nothing, nothing at all." she replies smiling. "She's a guest on my island. And you know what the Inquisition will do if they find her there."

The man in black frowns. "No witnesses."

"Exactly."

The man finishes his drink.

"So what do you say? she asks smiling. "A...partnership? A limited partnership?"

The man ponders for a moment.

"Very limited." he frowns.

She strikes the bar with her hand. "Excellent!"

The man in black shakes her hand, to seal the deal.

"I thought it was customary for a gentleman to kiss the hand of a lady?" she asks, batting her eyelashes.

"I'd sooner kiss this ashtray. Its far more charming than you'll ever be."

"Poo. You're no fun." she pouts.

The man in black shakes his head. "Sigh. This is going to be interesting."

The woman laughs. "An old Chinese fortune cookie once said "May you live in interesting times!"

"That was no fortune," replies the man in black. "That was a curse."

--------

Earth, somewhere in China, a long time ago.

An old man dressed in black robes sits beneath a banyan tree, lotus style.

His eyes are closed, contemplating.

A man dressed in black walks out from the trail, weary from his journey. He has traveled far and wide learning of this world that is not his own.

The old man beneath the banyan tree doesn’t bother to open his eyes. “So. You have found me”

The man in black asks in a commanding voice ”You are Master Zhu Yuanzhang, yes?”

The old man smiles. “Sometimes.”

The man in black clears his throat. “I've been sent here to learn about this world…”

The old man in black robes waves him off. ”Spare me, boy. I’ve heard it all before.”

The man in black frowns. “You’ve led a merry chase, old man. My contacts in Asia had a hard time finding you, but…”

”Yes, yes. Quite. Tell me…have you learned this world yet?”

The man in black is brought up short, startled. ”Excuse me?”

“I asked you a question. Have you learned all of this world?”

”Well…I…be quiet! I don't have time to learn everything about this world!”

"Who does?" asks the old man.

The man in black frowns.

”Heh. You think you are unique in your pursuit, yes?” says the old man to the man in black. “That you're the only one trying to learn about this world?”

”What are you talking about?” he asks.

"My boy, we've all been sent to this world to learn about it. Every one of us."

The man in black is thunderstruck.

”What do you think of it, so far?”

The man in black shakes his head. ”This world is full of wars and fighting. Its people are savages, killing each other for no reason."

The man in black robes nods. “That’s true. I cannot deny that. There’s more to it than that though. There is great violence in this world, but great beauty as well.”

”What does that have anything to do with…”

”Be silent, ignorant child!” The man in black robes snaps at him. “I know why you think you’re here,” he says, pointing his wizened finger. “Everyone thinks they know everything. But they don’t. Neither do I.”

“I've studied with great masters.” he continues. “Men who could perform great feats. Feats of strength, or power. Men who could bend steel or crush a rock with bare palm. And yet in all my travels, they never answered that one simple question."

The man in black snorts. “What question is that?”

The old man looks at him with childlike eyes.

"Why am I here?" he asks softly.

The man in black ponders this for a moment.

”You’re here because you’ve been searching for me.” says old Black Robes. “Desperately trying to find me, you were told I had some secret knowledge for you. You're right, I do, but you didn’t have to go to such lengths. You’re me, after all.”

A feeling of horror crept up inside the man in black. “What…what are you babbling about old man?”

”There are worlds within worlds, my boy. Anything can happen, you know? A man may find that he is too big for one world, existing in many. A man can spend his whole life searching…seeking himself. Now you’ve found me. Here I am.”

The man in black starts to back away, the old man stands up and follows, hands spread.

The man in black stumbles. He falls backwards in the grass, trying to push away. “Get away! Stay away from me you crazy old man!"

”What? After all this time? What do you truly fear, warrior? It’s okay to be afraid. Only fools and children are truly fearless.”

”Stay away!”

“You’re simply another part of myself. Another…aspect, if you will. A character in a story, just as we all are. Just as I was when I found my master.”

”This is madness!”

Master Zhu laughs out loud. “Hah! Yes! Madness. I thought so too when I heard it.”

The man in black is in daze, reeling from this bizarre turn of events.

”But if this is true…then…who am I?”

The man in black shrugs, smiling.

“Ahhh…now that is a question you must discover for yourself.”

The old man comes to kneel by the man in black seated in the grass.

"You're...you're just an Earth man." he says. "How can you know...about space? The Empire?"

Zhu Yuanzhang shrugs. "How does it go? 'There are more things in heaven and earth...' Never mind. I can’t remember the rest."

The man in black sighs.

The old man leans in next to him.

"I come with a warning too, my boy: This world must remain isolated from outside interference. Its people have a special role in the fate of the entire universe."

The man in black laughs. "These backwater savages? What role is that?"

The old man shrugs, smoothing his robes.

"I cannot tell you. I have to...show you."

The old mans hands reach out, grasping the man in black’s temples.

“What...what are you doing?!” he cried in alarm.

"Shhh. Watch...and listen."

There is light in the old mans eyes.

The man in blacks eyes become unfocused, staring at the sky. His mouth is slightly agape.

"What...But...but...I...they...."

"Shhh. Open your mind."

The man in black continues to stare aimlessly at the sky. Slowly a smile reaches his lips. Tears burn in his eyes.

He grasps at words. "It's... its..."

"Wonderful. Yes, I know."

Master Zhu releases him.

The man in black sits back in the grass and rubs his eyes. "And no one else knows this? No one at all?"

"You do, my young friend. And your masters must know too. They must not interfere with this world."

"I...I'll go. Go and tell them." says the man in black, rising to his feet. "I'll try my best."

The old man smiles ambiguously.

"That’s all anyone can ask, my boy."

The Return of the Man In Black Pt. II

Planet LG-54309, Cygnus system, the distant past.

The rebels are holed up in a commandeered Imperial fortress.

"They won’t dare a frontal assault, Morak." whispered a rebel to his leader.

"Our power field is at full, brother." replied Morak.

"They won’t bombard this base, but they are planning something."

They scan the darkened skies above. They know the Imperial forces are up there. Their ships circle slowly in the clouds, like sharks around a kill.

The quiet is deafening. The men are sick at their guns with waiting. The smell of perspiration hangs in air.

"I..I have a bad feeling about this, Morak. Maybe we should surrender."

"Delmag, if I hear that from you once again I'll shoot you myself." replied Morak quietly.

"Leader, this is foolishness! What have we gained from this??"

Morak pushes the muzzle of his rifle against Delmag’s face. "Silence." he growls.

Just then, three thunderous detonations explode over the fortress, filling the sky with blinding light.

The rebels are temporarily blinded by the flash, the shouting begins.

A fourth detonation rocks the fortress, a basso profundo rumble felt in the bones.

The power field shimmers and winks out of existence.

"The field! They destroyed the generator! They must be inside the walls!"

More shouting and cursing as the rebels take up positions.

Beam rifles scream out into the night.

The main gate implodes inward and a multitude of black armored figures flood in.

"It's the Legion!" screams the rebel leader. "Forward, men! Protect the gate!"

But it is too late.

The Legionnaires surge forward like a wave, crashing through the barricades.

They draw their power swords and begin a methodical slaughter of the rebel forces.

Screams and cries fill the cool night air. The sky is illuminated by angry red glowglobes.

"They're coming this way! Morak, get ready! Morak!! Where are you going?!"

The cowardly rebel leader flees the battlefield, leaving his brother to his fate.

In his panicked flight he runs straight into the Legionnaires commander.

Reflexively he swings his rifle at the commander’s head. "Die! DIE!!"

It bounces off the helmet with an unsatisfying clang.

The commander casually backhands the rebel into unconsciousness, like swatting a fly, sending him sprawling.

The battlefield begins quieting down, though still accented by occasional rifle fire.

The commander removes his helmet, the seals cracking with a hiss of air.

It reveals a brown skinned man of indeterminate age with black hair.

He surveys the scene around him and comlinks to the ships floating above.

"Strikeforce, this is the Forward Commander. Landing zone is secure. Begin your descent."

"Affirmative, Commander." is the crackled reply. "Glory to the Empire!"

The black armored man frowns, the smell of smoke burning his nostrils.

"Glory to the Empire." he mutters darkly.

------

Earth, somewhere in France. The very recent past...

Rene closed his boulangerie for the evening. He locked the door, smiling. Business was good today. The life of a baker was hard but sometimes satisfying.

On his way home he noticed two large men following him.

He tried to ignore this, picking up his pace a little.

The two men increased their pace as well.

Rene felt nervous, and a little frightened.

Who were these people? Why were they following him?

Home was right around the corner. He broke into a run.

The two men cursed and ran after him.

His flat was in sight! Safety!

But the men were too fast for him, tackling him on the steps of his own building.

They struggled violently.

"Hold him still! Damn it, hold him still!" said the smaller of the two.

"I'm trying! I'm trying!" the second larger man said. "You know you’re just making this hard on yourself!" he growled at Rene.

The large mans face hardened. "Fuck this. You want it hard? You got it."

The man's fist rocketed out, slamming Rene in the gut.

Some of the fight went out of him but he continued to struggle.

"Help! Help me! Aidez moi!"

The smaller man pulled a device resembling a small, handheld camera out of his pocket.

He held it in front of Rene's face.

It began strobing beautiful, multicolored flashes into his eyes.

He tried to look away...but found he could not! His gaze was fixed on the lightshow.

His limbs began to slacken.

"That’s right, friend," he said soothingly. "Look at the pretty lights. Nothing to be afraid of."

The look of wonderment became a look of horror, as if he were seeing or remembering something too terrible for words.

"No!...noooooo...!"

Presently he fainted.

The men left Rene lying on the steps as they straightened their suits.

"I tell you, it gets harder each time. I hate these missions." said the large man.

"Belay that talk, trooper." said the smaller man. "I think he's coming around."

Rene struggled to his feet. He looked about in shock as if he'd just awoken from a dream...or a nightmare.

The two men snapped to attention, their postures formal.

"Where...what...?"

"You are the Imperial assassin, codenamed 'Baker'. We are with Imperial Naval Intelligence. Our orders were to 'reactivate' you via Strobe."

Rene's eyes hardened.

"Sorry about the rough treatment, sir." said the large man, patting Rene on the shoulder. "Just following orders." he said with a wicked grin. "No hard feelings?"

"Non. I mean, no, of course not, trooper." he replied, smiling.

Then, almost faster than the eye can see, Rene's fist lashed out like a cobra.It connected with the larger mans mid section, bringing him to his knees.

Rene lit a cigarette, towering over the crumpled man at his feet.

"Now, troopers...tell me." he said flicking his ash. "Who do they want me to kill?"

"Stroboscopic mnemonic alteration or 'strobing' first came into Imperial use after the Second War of Succession. It was shown that soldiers returning home from campaign suffered from post traumatic stress. 'Strobing' was used to remove the horrific memories of war, sensitive military data, and sometimes an entire military career. The medical field has used this technology to help treat certain mental illnesses brought on by trauma. The transition from soldier to citizen became almost instantaneous. There have been stories of memories being forcibly returned or artificial memories being induced but so far these have proven to be just fables. If only these stories were true! Just imagine what possibilities there could be for education or training! However, no hard concrete data exists to correlate these 'urban myths'." -Prelate Agriphon, Imperial Medical College. 'Lectures on practical stroboscopy'.

The Return of the Man In Black Pt. I

The planet Altairius Prime, headquarters of the Grand Inquisition. A male choir can be heard chanting, it echoes throughout the towered fortress-monastery complex. A brown-robed functionary brother makes his way down the vaulted stone corridors to the offices of the Grand Inquisitor.

He waited outside the immense wooden doors where two large power armored troopers stood like statues. One of them turned and stated "His Holiness will grant you audience now, brother."

As the functionary passed the guard hissed sotto voce "Keep it brief! He is in a foul mood today!"

"When is he not?" thought the brother, but quickly shooed the thought from his mind as unworthy.

The inner chamber was dimly lit by glowglobes, a cloying incense assaulted his nostrils.

The brother entered and knelt on one knee, head bowed.

He trembled. "I am standing less than a meter from the most dangerous man in the Empire." he thought.

"Arise, brother. And report." intoned the Grand Inquisitor.

"Your holiness...I bring distressing news. The Temporal Authority has failed to apprehend the being Thousand Sons."

The Grand Inquisitor frowned. In a dead voice he asked simply "Why?"

The brother cleared his throat. "The officer assigned, Darloch Khentari, has apparently gone native. No further sign of him has been found."

"And the Authority? Have they been made...aware of Our displeasure?"

The brother shuddered at the memory. "Yes, milord. They have repented their error."

"Hmmm. And where is this Khentari now?"

"On Earth, milord. Where Thousand Sons is currently."

"Pfah! Earth." spat the Grand Inquisitor. "The very name is like an epithet upon my tongue! Would that we could perform an Exterminatus upon that globe and cleanse it! Fie upon the Treaty!" he said slamming his fist on his desk.

The brother said nothing, but swallowed hard. "There is more, milord. There is word of a demon loose on the planet. It plays at being human, but is truly an undead creature. It appears as male or female at will. Somehow it is tied into this as well."

The Grand Inquisitor's eyes narrowed. "This cannot be borne."

He folded his hands together. "Send Inquisitor Essington Streck to deal with this situation."

The brother blanched briefly at the name. "Streck...milord?"

"Aye. Streck. He is our finest Inquistor. He will not be swayed by that planets filthy ways."

The brother bowed deeply and made to leave.

"Oh, and brother?" asked the Grand Inquisitor.

The brother froze mid step.

"I am always in a foul mood." said the Grand Inquisitor. "Pray you do not make it fouler upon your return."

The brother sputtered and scurried away.

---

The cherry blossoms were in full bloom on Altarius Prime this time of year.

Streck had waited patiently for this day, wanting to savor springtime in its fullest.

Streck was a man of middle years, neither young nor old. Powerfully built and barrel chested.

He sat outside at an easel ruminating about the landscape, stroking his close cropped grey beard. His large hand delicately lifted his paint brush with obvious dexterity. He winced slighty, disappointed, as he saw the brown-robed functionary walking towards him.

"I am summoned again, brother?" he rumbled. It was more of a statement than a question.

"Yes, Brother Inquisitor. Your orders are in this dossier."

The functionary handed Streck a black leather packet bearing the silver seal of the Inquisition.

Streck looked at it and nodded. "Thank you brother. Begone now." he said, waving the brother away.

Cherry blossoms fluttered down like confetti in the air.

Streck closed his eyes and breathed deeply. "So." he exhaled.

He looked wistfully at his empty canvas.

"Another day, old friend."

New Orleans Rain

My prayers go out to New Orleans and everyone affected by Hurricane Katrina.
It's just breaking my heart watching the news lately.
I found this blues song to be very appropriate for how I'm feeling.
If anyones got the right to sing the blues now, its New Orleans...

New Orleans Rain-by Doug Duffey

New Orleans rain
Keeps pourin' down
Imagine my tears
As it falls to the ground

I'm all alone
In the heart of the town
Longin' for someone
Who dont come around

New orleans rain
Falls like my tears
Y'know these tears I been cryin'
I been cryin' for years

But the sound of the raindrops
About to drive me insane
And all I hear is the sound
Of the New Orleans rain

Y'know the thunder and lightnin'
Rock this gloomy ol' place
I cry out when its frightnin'
The tears roll down my face yeah

And when the heartaches get heavy
Ragin' out of control
Theres a hurricane blowin'
In the depths of my soul

New orleans rain
Poundin' the roof
Like my poor heart is poundin'
And these tears are the proof

That a man can't help cryin'
When he's sufferin in pain
All alone in New Orleans
Yeah, in the New Orleans rain

Y'know the thunder and lightnin'uh huh
Rock this gloomy ol' place
I cry out when its frightnin' yeah
The tears roll down my face

Now when the heartaches get heavy
Ragin' out of control
There's a hurricane blowin'
In the depths of my soul

I said New Orleans rain
O Lord
Pounds on my roof
Like my poor heart is poundin'

And these tears are the proof
That a man cant help cryin' no no
When he's sufferin' in pain
All alone in New Orleans
Yeah in the New Orleans rain
I said I cant help cryin' yeah
in the New Orleans rain
Yeah.