Back again...

It's me again, your lackadaisical scribe.

I truly don't know how people do this every single day, let alone get paid for it.

James Lileks puts out a Bleat every day! Each one is a magnificent gem, handpolished to perfection.

I feel like I'm throwin' some old rocks at y'all.

Inspiration is fickle. It strikes me once in a while then flitters off to points unknown.

I'd hate to do a crappy laundry list rundown every day of my boring little life.

'Dear Blog: Went to the store today for lunch. They didnt have the chicken salad I like, so I went to Taco Time instead. The girl forgot to give me my sour cream.'

Feh!

This is a quality blog! Quality does not equal quantity!

Perhaps it would be better rendered thusly:

'I went out to procure my daily victuals! The merchantman did not have the hearty fare I so craved, so I journeyed to the purveyor of Tacos! But, horrors! The foolish maiden of tacos did not give me my condiment of choice! "Brash strumpet," I cried shaking my fist! "Give me the sour cream I requested, lest my cane find your backside!" Not wanting to further provoke the Ire or Blazing Fury, she did acquiesce to my demands!
Victory is mine!'

There. Thats better. But now I want a taco, dammit.

Bloggin'

From Ye Olde Barbaric Blog (pen & paper):
I recently had a friend ask me about what to post in their blog.

All I have to say is: Write whatever you feel. No matter what. Seriously.

Dont ever be afraid of what you have to say or be afraid of what someone might think.

You have to be absolutely fearless in your writing, otherwise whats the point?

If you hold back out of fear then you aren't being true to yourself or to your reader.

Let it all out. Dont hold back.

Fucking go for it! Lifes too short.

Pull this blog over!

I swear to Zod, I'm gonna install a breathalyzer on this freakin' blog.

Me: "Arrrrgh! Thousand Sons mad! Must blog!"

BEEEEP!

"We're sorry. But your blood alcohol limit as exceeded the acceptable level for a coherent blog entry. Please try again tomorrow. Thank you."


Ahhh....if only!

Revelation

What an abortion tonight has been.
It started out well...then went straight to hell in a matter of moments.
But out of stubborn pride I went out anyway.
Loud dance club, rhythmic music, bodies swaying.
I stood there taking the whole spectacle in.
Nobody saw me.
I have that talent.
I felt the Blazing Fury welling up within.
These goddam happy dancing people were infuriating me.
But that is avoiding the true horror.
It came to me...out there on the dance floor.
Amidst the noise and the chaos.
Its not these people that I hate...or even her.
It's me.
It's always been me.
Don't you know by now that nature abhors a vacuum?

"For when it comes right down to it
there's no use trying to pretend
For when it gets right down to it
there's no one really left to blame
Blame it on me,
you can blame it on me.
We're just sugar mice in the rain..."

*Update: Just so you know: Now that I'm sober, I don't really hate myself. I just dislike myself...sometimes.

The Riddle of Steel

Fire and Wind come from the Sky.
From the gods of the Sky.
But Crom is your god. Crom, and he lives in the earth.
Once giants lived in the Earth, Conan.
And in the darkness of Chaos, they fooled Crom.
And they took from him the Enigma of Steel.
Crom was angered and the Earth shook!
And Fire and Wind struck down these giants and they threw their bodies into the waters.
But in their rage...the gods forgot the Secret of Steel on the battlefield.
We who found it...are just men.
Not gods. Not giants.
Just men.
The Secret of Steel has always carried with it a mystery.
You must learn its Riddle, Conan.
You must learn its disipline.
For no one, no one in this world can you trust.
Not men. Not women. Not beasts.
...
...
This you can trust.

That woman

I shouldn't be writing this.

But I know you'll never read this, so it doesn't really matter.

Sometimes, I swear to God, I think you want me to fail.

Remember me...

Did half of you pass away?
Well what about the other half?
Yeah what about the other half?
Whatever....

Harrrrrr!

Yarrrr...today be Friday and that be Pirate Day where I'm from lads!

Now there be some enjoyable news regardin' pirates this week, me buckos.

S.E. Hinton, author of 'The Outsiders', has written a new tome entitled "Hawkes Harbor"!

Be clickin' yon link, ye bilge rats, here!

Now this be me favorite quote:

"There are pirates and sex, gunrunning and smuggling, and sailors who talk like sailors."

Har! That sounds like my kinda harbor, missy! Yarr har harr!

Arrr...th' Outsiders. "Stay gold, Pony Boy!" Just stay away from me gold, if'n ye knows whats good for ye!

In other news, this pirate be seekin' a new port o' call hisself. There be some barnacle encrusted blackhearts what be on my ship of employ that needs sortin'out. Never double cross a pirate, ye landlubbers! I've sailed the Seven Seas, battled th' Kraken hisself, and laid waste to th' Dry Tortugas with ease! I fear thee not! I shan't be waitin' about for ye to light to me wit' th' long shanks, buckos. I'm jumpin' ship! There be many a ship sailin' what needs a pirate, matey.

And there's a change in th' wind, says I....